You told me you’d get back to me.
But I haven’t heard from you since.
Why is that?
Why do some people say they will contact you although in all sincerity the intention is not really there? Let’s be honest, not really.
I have been thinking about this topic for a long time. I consider myself a person who does what they say they’ll do. Which is all the more reason I have trouble understanding those who say they’ll do something and don’t.
I believe in the authenticity of the things I do and hold myself accountable for my own actions. However, I’ve realised that not everyone holds themselves accountable. There are also more or less levels of responsibility. So, it’s time to take a closer look.
Why do we perceive time differently?
I began by asking myself what ticks differently in me compared with others I meet. What are the reasons for being more or less or not at all accountable?
I understand that we all lead very busy lives with an unbelievable number of obligations, deadlines and tasks. We definitely have that much in common. In addition, we all have only 24 hours a day. You and I. That is also something we have in common.
Perhaps the difference lies in how we meet our deadlines and handle our events and commitments. Namely, how we position and schedule everything in life and how we make decisions surrounding those circumstances.
The more I think about it the more the answer seems to point to one thing: decisions. Everyone has the right to make decisions in a way that they feel is appropriate. To make decisions based on: What is important to me? What will I do when? With whom? How would I like to feel?
TIME HAS EVERYTHING TO DO WITH DECISIONS.
We make decisions constantly and decide many things based on their importance. Admittedly everyone determines what gets scheduled in their agenda and what not.
Then suddenly it becomes clear:
You tell me that you don’t have time. What you really wanted to say is “you don’t have time for me”. Or put a nicer way “you’ve chosen something else”. That sounds much more plausible than “I need to check… I’ll get back to you”.
When you say “I don’t have time,” you actually mean “I don’t have time for you.”
Perhaps you disagree and claim that mostly you do intend to get back to me or whoever. But it just didn’t happen. Now let me ask you to consider what connection your actions or lack of action has to do with your decisions.
WHERE DOES TIME PRESSURE COME FROM?
Maybe I can shed some light on the subject. I appreciate that we can’t always decide everything entirely freely and independently. But is it possible that the pressure of time is caused by ourselves?
Our “time account” is something we fill alone. Time doesn’t just disappear. For example, is your health a priority for you? If so, it will certainly get your attention.
The fact remains that if something receives little or no priority in your life, it’s basically not important or not important enough. In this case it’s better to admit that something has no priority instead of blaming the lack of time.
If you keep doing things the same way every day and think that something will eventually change, I can tell you that everything will stay the same.
LET’S BE CLEAR
Maybe the whole thing isn’t an issue for you yet, and you still think you just don’t have enough time. But if you take my message seriously, we might both have something to gain by talking clearly and honestly.
Do you feel like you can’t be honest with me? You would upset me? Disappoint or insult me? Don’t worry, I’ve learned a lot and forgive a lot. I have known for a long time that in God’s name I am not for everyone and anyone.
We all have time for what matters.
If we concentrate on the essentials, we create the life we want.
In the time we have.
In this sense, next time please just tell me “I have decided differently”.
And then I will understand you very well.